The practice of ukuthwala (bridal abduction), has formed
part of many South African native cultural groups, and has still remained as a
cultural practice in several places in the Eastern Cape. As the Eastern Cape is
predominately a Xhosa populated part of the country, I will be investigating
this practice through the Xhosa culture.
The practice of ukuthwala may be divided into two circumstances;
in one case the girl’s family has given their consent to having their daughter
abducted and in the other case there is no agreement between the two families.
Nonetheless in both cases the young woman/girl has not been informed nor has
her consent been given.
Through several conversations I have had with older people
in the Xhosa culture, I have found that in the first instance, the groom’s
family goes to ask for the girl’s hand in marriage without her knowledge and
the labola negotiations are conducted and concluded. Once both families have
reached an agreement, they then go on to arrange with the bride’s family on the
day in which she will abducted and discuss the details of the abduction and the
part the bride’s family will then play. In most cases the girl is sent
somewhere where her future in-laws have laid and ambush for her and they will
then proceed in kidnapping her to their home. Once they arrive at the home, she
is to be locked inside a room where she will be met by the women in the groom’s
family, who will then go on to inform her of what is taking place. Should she
persist with resistance, male members from her own family will then be allowed
to enter the room and explain to her that her family had given their consent to
the marriage and that should she not agree to marry the man, show would have
brought disgrace to her family, as everything had been finalized.
Whereas in the other case, the bride’s family has not been
asked for permission to abduct their daughter and have done so at their own
discretion. In this case, the young man along with his friends and family would
then have to follow the girl in order to know her schedule. Once he has chosen
the date, they would then proceed and abduct the young girl by any means
possible. Like the previous case, the girl will be taken to a room and the
women in the groom’s family will come in and attempt to convince her of the
marriage, they will force her to undress and in some cases undress her so that
she can wear bride attire suitable for a new bride. Her family would then be
contacted to notify them of the marriage, the place where their daughter was
now living and in order to discuss labola negotiations.
Although cases may vary, in many of these cases, especially
when the girl is adamant on refusing the marriage regardless of the efforts of
the family, or in some cases both families; she is then forced to spend the
night with her groom; which sometimes can result in rape. This period of rape
may be for one night, while in some cases be over a long period of time until
she agrees to remain married. This is usually the reason why many women
remained married as they believed that since they were no longer virgins no man
would want to marry then anyway and they thus had no choice but to be married
to him.
However rape is not always the cases with ukuthwala, in many
instances the women agree to live with the men especially in cases where their
own parents have given the consent for the abduction.
