The Pill version

For the pill version I wanted to explore the perspective of the bride/umakoti. The reason why I chose to use pills is that they usually represent some sort of relief from pain and felt that it would be an interesting concept to play around with as she too is seeking relief. 

Figure 1: Ndongeni, S (2019). Pill version, earrings and pendant. 

I had therefore decide to use actual pills which were then set inside these wire elements, which could also be an indicator of how she feels void of what she is meant to have and the only solution she is able to find inside her is ending her life. I tried to romanticize the idea of suicide with these pieces as I wanted to give the idea that she is drawn into this belief that the afterlife will give her peace; hence the silver. 

Inspiration

The Living Grave Series is a commentary based on miscarriage narratives. As previously stated, 10 to 25 percent of documented pregnancies result in a miscarriages, and this number is even higher when it comes to younger girls, predominately in cases of child marriages.

Figure 1: Ndongeni, S (2019).  The Living Grave Series. Beaded neckpiece. 

Due to the sensitivity of the subject, I have decided to reply mainly on the Series title as a director for the viewer, similarly to the narrative design principles expressed by Metcalf and adopted by Byrne.  I have listed below my design outputs.

a. Fold-formed version
b. Beaded version

Beaded version

For the beaded version of The Living Grave Series, I had also decided to use the same concept of the v shape when structuring the piece, as seen in figure 1. Once again trying not to create a morbid manifestation of the narrative, I chose to place the emphasis of how this unborn seed (a bead) is attached to this piece anchoring its development and forming part of who she will become. 

Figure 1: Ndongeni, S (2019). The living grave series, beaded neckpiece.  

For the third version of the series seen in figure 2, I wanted to play with the idea of that there are all these women who all have had a unborn soul attached to them and although they may come from different walks of life, their pain somehow makes them through their grief. I tried to express the idea of the many unborn children through the use of the multiple and the lives of the women is expressed through the weaving which goes in multiple directions yet meeting at certain points in the formation.  

Figure 2: Ndongeni, S (2018). The Living grave series, Silver and red beaded neckpiece.

Fold formed version

For the Silver part of the series, I have tried to play around with the idea that a woman is flowering during the course of her pregnancy and have expressed this through the use of fold formed leaves. I then decided to place the leaves in a bead shape as though to imitate the uterus shape of female anatomy as seen in an earlier post. 

Figure 1: Ndongeni, S (2019). Miscarriage Series, fold-formed pendants.

The I also decided have settings hang at the bottom of the piece so as to signify this unborn life which is eternally tied to that of it’s mother, forever forming part of her life. I tried not to I will be setting a pear-shaped Quart in the setting seen on the left in figure one and a piece of red shwe-shwe in the piece on the right. These are meant to signify the life lost, while the red beadwork to be attached to the jumprings instead of a chain will signify the umbilical cord, while also an idea adopted from Xhosa beadwork. 

Bridal journey/ tale

Although this research report is based on the bridal narrative, it will, however, be mainly addressing the plight of the Xhosa umakoti. As addressed in a later section, Christianity is the main religious denomination which has had an influence on the Xhosa culture and this report will, therefore, be outlining the Christian perspective of marriage rather than the more westernized or universal marriage concepts. For discussion purposes this report will be adopting the Xhosa and Christian perspective of a marriage union, those being heterosexual marriages, a marriage between man and woman (Goodacre,2007; Church, 2002).

For the umakoti who  practices and observes the Christianity,their bridal journey will involve the following:
a. Ukwenda/ Xhosa marriage customs
b.  Christian marriage customs.

What kind of Imagery and symbolism have I used?

I had gone on to expand on the labola concept by first designing a cow’s head using the Rhino design programme, I did this with the intentions of printing the cow head so that it would be the most dominate feature in the piece of jewellery which I would make. I have included some of the initial CAD/CAM drawings of the cow head.

Ndongeni, S. (2018) CAD/CAM Cow head

The reason for making the cow the focal point is that it is my way of expressing the idea of it being the most important feature. 

Xhosa umakoti concepts explained

My cultural heritage is a mixture of Bhaca, Xhosa and Zulu; however I grew up identifying more with the Xhosa, as that is the side I was predominately exposed to, although I would be traditionally referred to as iBhaca. Having been raised in a family which did not practice traditional customs,  I would say that my understanding of many Xhosa traditions and cultural practices was minimal when I began with this report.

Through my personal journey of becoming umakoti and through the research, I have found that there are rules to be followed and even a specific hierarchy even among the brides within her new family. These are determined by many factors one of these being how long one has been married; thus giving umakoti that has been married longer superiority over a recently married umakoti., this is regardless of the wife’s age.

This report will highlight the main conceptses with regards to umakoti:

1. Ukuyala
2. Ukuhlonipha

Umakoti/ bride

Figure 18: Ndongeni, S. (2015) Umakoti clothing.

In many other Nguni groups, dress and accessories carried a narrative or visual symbolism for the wearer; though several of these have been lost due to modernization of the world. Nonetheless symbolism of dress and accessories still play an important role within the Xhosa culture especially when it comes to a marriage and being umakoti.

One of these is the headdress which is a symbol of respect towards both elders within the marital home and one’s husband (CSIR, 2018). Within each division of the tribes, various colours, clothing and beads hold various significances and when designing my final collection this will play vital role in the formation of my pieces (Magubane, vanishing cultures of south africa, 1998).

Xhosa marriage/ ukwenda

As stated by Magubane in his book  (Magubane, 2001), the Xhosa nation may be identified as being a spiritual people, a quality shared amongst many indigenous African cultures. Before the arrival of mission workers the Xhosa people acknowledged and worship God, whom they had denoted to as: “uDali, Mdali, uMenzi, uHlanga, iNkosi yezulu, Qamata, Thixo (Mtshiselwa,2011, p. 278). Xhosa beliefs blended into their everyday life, as they believe that their ancestors played a part in their everyday life as who are believed to be alive in the spirit world and could communicate and control what took place in this present life (Hodgson, 1997) (Magubane, 1998).

Figure 14

This belief system influences every stage of one’s life from conception until ones death when they are believed to be joined to their ancestors. This would thus influence marriage customs^[1], as a marriage in the Xhosa nation would not only signify the union of man and woman, or man and women; but would, however, involve the women being introduced and being received by the husbands’ ancestors. This, like most Xhosa traditional customs, would involve a slaughter of animals as a gift to the ancestors.

The sacrifices offered to ancestors make Xhosa ceremonies to be more than just a custom, but a religious ceremony to be taken seriously as the slaughter of animals to the ancestors is seen as a contract (Bredckamp, 1995).  Within the Xhosa culture there are many possible acceptable roads one may travel in order to attain a wife, some of which are the basis of discussion for this paper. Some of these practices are listed below:

•              Arranged marriages

•              Customary marriages

•              Lobola

•              Polygamy

•              Ukuthwala

In many ways, these marriage customs are a form of slavery or at least hold a close resemblance to slavery when placed under the light. As defined by the Oxford Dictionary:

 “a person who is owned by another person and is forced to work for them, a person who cannot make their own decisions.” (Turnbull, 2010).

Unfortunately this is a very accurate description of many of these young girls and women, as they are unable to escape these marriages nor are they allowed to have a say within their marriages, they are simply forced to endure every form of abusive treatment and play the dutiful wife.

Unlike traditional Xhosa marriages, marriage in Christianity ^[2]does not involve ancestors, but does however unify and consecrate two people before God, through Jesus Christ. (Ephesians) This is of great significance especially to Xhosa practicing Christians^[3] as it will affect their marriage ceremony and the way they enter a marriage covenant.

Xhosa marriage concepts explained

 This report will be discussing at the following Xhosa bridal marriage practices:

1. Labola/ bride price
2.    Ukuthwala-(bridal abduction)
3.   Child marriage

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Ukuthwala-(bridal abduction)

Figure 1 James, A. Bachelors stage a kidnapping.  [ONLINE]

The bridal practice of ukuthwala (bridal abduction), has formed part of many South African native cultural groups, and has still remained as a cultural marriage practice in several places within the Eastern Cape (Froko, S. M. 2016). As the Eastern Cape is predominately a Xhosa populated part of the country, the report will be exploring this practice through the Xhosa culture. There are not many positives when it comes to the practice of bridal kidnapping, therefore this report will instead introduce the historical justification for the practice.

1. Historical bases

It is believed that the practice of ukuthwala in South Africa originated with the Xhosa people (Mwambene & Sloth-nielsen, 2011). Initially the practice came about in cases when either the girl’s family or both families, would be against a marriage or would not come into agreement with labola, and then the couple would stage this abduction, in order to force their  families to allow the marriage to take place.

Although not inherently a form of an abusive abduction, it has mutated into a form of marriage which results in abuse, violence and in many unfortunate cases resulted in rape. Traditionally the practice may be conducted in one of two ways; there are cases where the girl’s family has consented to the marriage and the abduction of their daughter. In this case, the two families have met without consulting the girl in question and have even concluded with the lobola negotiations in most of these cases. Then the two families for whatever the reasons may  be agreed to a specific date on which this abduction would take place (Modisaotsile, 2013).

2. Negatives

In a paper written by Nomusa Mphanga (Maphanga, 2011), one of the drawbacks of the custom of ukuthwala was that men soon abducted the young girls as a result of a spiteful kind of love. The aim was no longer to preserve a custom, nor was it a sign of respect for either the young woman nor their families, it was all about breaking her virginity in order to force the family to permit the marriage.

The sad reality of our society is that a woman is judged more harshly than a man; to the extent that even in cases when she has been violated she is forced to either hide what has taken place or bare the stone of society. Until the recent events which have transpired in our country, it was easy to get away with rape. However now, women have had enough and have learned to voice out their frustration, nonetheless this was not always the case.

When the custom of ukuthwala began to become distorted, it forced the woman, the young girl to not just suffer the pain of rape, but to be sentenced to a life with her rapist all in the name of persevering the dignity he had stripped away from her (Maphanga, 2011; South African Abductions: young girls forced into marriage, n.d.).

The practice of ukuthwala has now become an illegal practice within South Africa and many countries throughout the world. There were cases where the man’s family are in agreement and have not met with either the young girl nor her family and simply decide to ambush her at their earliest convenience, to then inform the girl’s family once they have kidnapped her of what they have done.

 No matter what the circumstance is, when the girl is unaware of this sort of marriage, it may be traumatic for her, as she is taken against her will and then forced to become a wife to someone she may not even know, and at times a man who is 15 to 40 years her senior.

Biblical Headship

Many times men who tend to lord the verses of submission over their wives tend to disregard the verses in  Ephesians 5: 25-29. 

1. Positives

This scripture is a clear depiction of how the true Christian husband ought to behave towards his wife. If one is a true scholar of the word, he would never practice any form of abuse or inhuman form of dominance over his wife. Yeshua, had stated in various passages of the Bible that He came to serve the church rather than to be served by the church, even going as far as to wash the very feet of His disciples and then instructing them to behave in a like manner to those who would be under them (John 13). Through this act, He depicted a servanthood form of headship which is at times contrary to the leadership styles adopted by many men, especially Xhosa Christian husbands.

According to scripture, the biblical husband ought to focus on the desires and needs of his wife above that of his own; therefore although she ought to submit to him, she would be submitting to a man who seeks[1] her happiness above his own. 

This form of biblical headship [2]therefore goes beyond the selfish interpretation of men as dictators of the home, but speaks of a responsibility on the husband which thus would require the submission of the wife. It therefore displays how God has not simply placed women in a vulnerable passion by placing the man as the head of his household, but has however placed him as a head above her for her edification and so as to create order within the household, when applied in the manner it was designed in.

2. Negatives

As explained above, the concept of headship is not meant as a form of suppression; however due to the influence of Christianity on the Xhosa culture and within the Christian community, many unconverted men have used the concept as a means of control their wives (Cox, 2018).

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[1] Pastor Mike Bickle of “iHop Ministries” describes the way a Christian husband ought to see marriage as a lifelong stewardship in which he becomes God’s spokesman to his wife. Furthermore, he advises young man to understand that the marriage covenant is in no way related to how their emotions are towards their wives, meaning that they are not faithful to her because she is faithful, but behave towards her because it is their personal ministry to God.

[2] The husband would therefore be responsible for any failings within the marriage as the head, including the disrespect displayed by a hurt wife. This also goes to the issue of loving the wife, which a man is commanded to do along with honoring her, nurturing both her emotional and spiritual growth (Base, The Incredible Worth of a Woman, 2012).

Biblical marriage concepts explained

Christianity, as with most religions or cultures, has its own set of brlief systems and traditions which act as a guide for those who practice such faith.

Keeping the context of this research report in mind, there are two main areas within the Christian faith which may at times pose as a huddle when misinterpreted. As the Bible is considered to be the only authoritative book within Christianity, this report has included a scripture reference for each of the areas, so as to prove a condensed summation of the Biblical standard for these two areas.

• Submission

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Saviour of the body.”  Ephesians 5:22 KJV^[1]

• Biblical Headship

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:..” Ephesians 5: 25-29 KJV

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[1] KJV stands for: The King James Version.

Marriage practices in South Africa

The definition of marriage is one that is ever-changing and never stagnant, having different meanings and holding different representations to various people. The religious and those of faith would regard marriage as a holy covenant[1], while others regard it as a union of two people and others view it as a contract. Whichever description one may choose to associate marriage with, one common truth is that it has a rich history [2]with many customs, myths, and practices attached to it.

As with many cultures, married women were not afforded the chance to own property as she was under the marital power of her husband. This is however no longer the case within many cultures nor is it followed under the current law, this thus leaves a problem when it comes to modern marriages with no written prenuptial agreement as it will mean that both property and belongings are deemed to be in community of property. (Common law and customary marriages: how it affects your finances). This law[3] also extends to all registered customary marriages. This, however, exempts cases where both parties have signed a prenuptial agreement stating otherwise (Debbie Budlender, 2002).

Caged bird formation

ILobola/ bride price

The practice of paying lobola or dowry is one which is regarded as an integral part of many African marriages; it is, in fact, a practice which is not limited or exclusive to African cultures but is part of other cultures in the world such as the Indian culture and the Jewish people, who refer to it as dowry  (Gullapalli, 2009) (Liebenberg,n.d.).

 

Figure 1 Tina, T. (2018) Three uncles negotiating lobola. [ONLINE] ^[1]

1. Positives

The importance of the payment of the bridal price is seen as an act of respect for the bride and her family; as it is seen as a gesture of gratitude while also displaying his fidelity and commitment to his bride and also displaying good care of her by proving that he values her. Contrary to many false beliefs, the bride price is not a payment of the daughter nor is it the purchase of a bride, it is, however, a gesture which displayed the man would be capable of providing for the bride and that he and his family were people of substance (Magubane, 2001). Also, it was a security bond posted by or on behalf of the bridegroom as a pledge of good treatment; a man was not likely to abandon such a substantial investment, and in most societies, if a divorce resulted because of abuse and ill-treatment, all or most of the lobola was forfeited.

 

Since lobola is a gesture most families do not require the full payment to be made before marriage as it is believed that since no true price can be placed on their priceless daughter. A man can never fully pay lobola but is however responsible to make payments (for a lack of word) to the family for life. These payments come in the form of making sure that the needs and wants of the bride’s family are taken care of when they arise, these thus count as the bottomless lobola price the husband is to pay for the daughter he has taken as a wife (Ngema, 2013).

  i.            Negatives

Although meant to be a gesture of gratitude and a symbol that the daughter will be well taken care of; like many things within society this practice has been abused and the process has been polluted by many people to satisfy their own personal desires and interests. These have been done through the demand of a bridal price which is beyond the means of what the man can afford, or in some cases families may require the man to pay an amount which is too high as the family considers their own personal needs and wants.

In other instances, the process becomes tainted as the daughter becomes a bargaining chip or even an object to be sold to the highest bidder and her family disregards what is in the best interest of their daughter to make money off her marriage. An example of such cases would be the process or the marriage which is the result of ukuthwala (bridal abduction).

Another way the best interest of the bride does not play a key factor is when the family forces her to marry for money or status rather than to marry for love. This type of marriage is then regarded as forced marriage, rather than arranged marriage.

The payment of lobola has been one of the many factors within the African native cultures which has aided in the difficulty of divorce. With a process so flawed and ungoverned by neither law nor many restrictions besides what families decide is just and fair payment, should such a practice be found to be relevant in this contemporary and liberal world we live in? It actually should still be practiced as there are several consequences that are directly linked to the refusal to partake in the practice. One of these being that the couple may not be fully received by both families if they do not choose to adhere or observe important cultural practices. The wife may be ostracized by other family members of the husband’s family and may not be considered a true makoti within the family.

The bridal practice of ukuthwala (bridal abduction), has formed part of many South African native cultural groups, and has still remained as a cultural marriage practice in several places within the Eastern Cape. As the Eastern Cape is predominately a Xhosa populated part of the country, I will be exploring this practice through the Xhosa culture.
Although the practice of bridal abduction is a worldwide issue, it is however believed that the practice of ukuthwala in South Africa originated with the Xhosa people. (Mwambene & Sloth-nielsen, 2011) Initially the practice came about in cases when the either the girl’s family or both families, would be against a marriage or would not come into agreement with labola, and then the couple would stage this abduction, in order to force their  families to allow the marriage to take place.

Although not inherently a form of an abusive abduction, it has mutated into a form of marriage which results in abuse, violence and in many unfortunate cases resulted in rape. Traditionally the practice may be conducted in one of two ways, there are cases where the girl’s family has consented to the marriage and the abduction of their daughter. In this case, the two families have met without consulting the girl in question and have even concluded with the labola negotiations in most of these cases. Then the two families for whatever the reasons may be agree to a specific date on which this abduction would take place. (Modisaotsile, 2013)

While the other painful case, which has become illegal, is where the man’s family are in agreement and have not met with either the young girl nor her family and simply decide to ambush her at their earliest convenience, to then inform the girl’s family once they have kidnapped her of what they have done.

 No matter what the circumstance is, when the girl is unaware of this sort of marriage, it may be traumatic for her, as she is taken against her will and then forced to become a wife to someone she may not even know, and at times a man who is 15 to 40 years her senior

Umakoti/ bride

 I have found that there are rules to be followed and even a specific hierarchy even among the brides within the family, which is determined by many factors one of these being how long one has been married; thus giving umakoti that has been married longer superiority over a recently married umakoti., this is regardless of the wife’s age.

As part of being umakoti, you are in some ways treated as a new born, in the sense that when you become a new member of the family and are welcomed into the family, you are given a new name and brand new clothes. As you are no longer a girl but a wife, you are then given instructions by the family on how to conduct yourself within the family and depending how strict the family is, you are given instructions on how to conduct yourself outside the family, this is called ukuyala. 

Once this process has been conducted, according to tradition, you are to no longer to be referred to as your birth name, but you may however be called your clan name, and the new wife is to no longer refer to her husband by name especially in front of others, she is to call him bhuti or Tata ka so-and-so (so and so father, the name of the their first born child).  He on the other hand may call you by name; however the name his family has given you. There is so much more involved in the making of umakoti, however for purposes of this report, when I refer to umakoti unless stated, I am referring to someone who has been married for 15 years or less, as a wife who is married longer is regarded as umfazi. 

Xhosa keepers

Figure Xhosa woman wearing a Keeper. (ONLINE) Figure 1  Xhosa woman wearing a Keeper. (ONLINE)[1]

Figure 2 Xhosa woman wearing a Keeper. (ONLINE)

The woman in the picture above is wearing a Xhosa traditional Keeper which depicts the stage she is now in as a Xhosa wife. The triangles symbolize an older married woman, and the fact that the woman in the Keep has no legs is an indication that the woman wearing the keeper feels that she is worn out at this stage in her life and she, therefore, will not have any use for her legs. 

Caged bird moments

The Caged bird Poem

For this poem I had decided to start it off as a reflective moment, hence the question 'how am I to fly on broken wings? ' This was meant to imply moment of 'what now?'
The idea behind being broken, it is meant to express how she may feel that her worth has somehow depreciated, due to how society views broken things as having no value or as being of a lesser value. The repetition of those words was also meant as a way of emphasising that she may no longer feel as those she can function to het fullest or original capacity, hence being unable to fly.
The next aspect revealed is the fact that the act of breaking her was deliberate. This is sometimes the case when it comes to forced marriages or marriages which as a product of ukutwala, they may try by either emotional or physical means to cause the girl/woman to feel as though her worth has already depreciated, so that she won't try to leave. This is done through rape, physically beating the women, emotionally threatening her of the fact that if she left she will be viewed as an outcast.

After hearing these stories, I had decided to write the poem from the perspective og a young girl, who feel broken both in terms of worth and wothin her soul, therefore no longer being able to view both her life and life as before. She is hence caged by the husband, her own brokenness and by the community. Hence the poem speaks not just of a cage, but her broken wing.