Bridal journey/ tale

Although this research report is based on the bridal narrative, it will, however, be mainly addressing the plight of the Xhosa umakoti. As addressed in a later section, Christianity is the main religious denomination which has had an influence on the Xhosa culture and this report will, therefore, be outlining the Christian perspective of marriage rather than the more westernized or universal marriage concepts. For discussion purposes this report will be adopting the Xhosa and Christian perspective of a marriage union, those being heterosexual marriages, a marriage between man and woman (Goodacre,2007; Church, 2002).

For the umakoti who  practices and observes the Christianity,their bridal journey will involve the following:
a. Ukwenda/ Xhosa marriage customs
b.  Christian marriage customs.

Xhosa umakoti concepts explained

My cultural heritage is a mixture of Bhaca, Xhosa and Zulu; however I grew up identifying more with the Xhosa, as that is the side I was predominately exposed to, although I would be traditionally referred to as iBhaca. Having been raised in a family which did not practice traditional customs,  I would say that my understanding of many Xhosa traditions and cultural practices was minimal when I began with this report.

Through my personal journey of becoming umakoti and through the research, I have found that there are rules to be followed and even a specific hierarchy even among the brides within her new family. These are determined by many factors one of these being how long one has been married; thus giving umakoti that has been married longer superiority over a recently married umakoti., this is regardless of the wife’s age.

This report will highlight the main conceptses with regards to umakoti:

1. Ukuyala
2. Ukuhlonipha

Ukuhlonipha

The word ukuhlonipha means respect. Within the Xhosa culture respect is one of the most important things to show both towards others and to one’s culture. However for purposes of this report only some of the most crucial aspects of ukuhlonipha ka makoti will be addressed, such as the dress code, iqiya and eye contact.

• Dress code

The picture below on the right is of my grandmother who is wearing traditional mainly worn by older wives and women. Like the picture of the women on the left, the clothing still has the distinct Xhosa lines at the bottom, the middle panel and the black turban. As seen in the picture, she has covered he shoulders, as a sign of respect as she was attending an event. My aunt on the other hand is wearing a more contemporary take to the traditional outfit, since she is wearing a version of the turban.

Then	Now
Figure 1 CSIR. Traditional Xhosa dress	Figure 2 Bacela, V. Traditional Xhosa Dress

• Iqhiya

In the Xhosa culture, the turban is called Iqhiya and not merely as means decorate, but is worn as a sign of respect for towards their in-laws and their husband. (S, 2007). However, I personally believe that Christianity had its influence on this particular practice the same way it had in their dress code (Hodgson, 1997; Magubane, 1998).

Then	Now
Figure 3 Young Gcaleka wife (Costello, 1990)	Figure 4  Contemporary Xhosa Dress [ONLINE}[1]

With accordance to tradition, younger woman had to wear less elaborate headdresses, as the more elaborate headdress styles were reserved for older women due to their seniority. The above picture, is of a young married woman from the Gcaleka Xhosa tribe, as seen in the picture, her headdress is simpler.    

• Eye contact

With accordance to the Xhosa culture, a married woman is not allowed to make eye contact with other men, including her husband, at times even with older women within her new family as it is seen as a sign of disrespect (S, 2007).

Umakoti/ bride

Figure 18: Ndongeni, S. (2015) Umakoti clothing.

In many other Nguni groups, dress and accessories carried a narrative or visual symbolism for the wearer; though several of these have been lost due to modernization of the world. Nonetheless symbolism of dress and accessories still play an important role within the Xhosa culture especially when it comes to a marriage and being umakoti.

One of these is the headdress which is a symbol of respect towards both elders within the marital home and one’s husband (CSIR, 2018). Within each division of the tribes, various colours, clothing and beads hold various significances and when designing my final collection this will play vital role in the formation of my pieces (Magubane, vanishing cultures of south africa, 1998).

Ukuyala

Figure 1 Bacela, V. (2018)	Figure 2
The above pictures are of my sister in-law, when she was being welcomed into the family. According to tradition, it is the duty of the sister-in-laws (this case me), who are to name the new bride and to dress the new bride in her new umakoti clothing.

As part of being umakoti, the bride is treated as a new born, in the sense that since she is becoming a new member of the family; she is given a new name and brand new clothes. This represents the death of one stage and birth of another, as she will no longer be a girl but a wife. Once she has been dressed by the sister, she is then lead to meeting with all the family members and then given instructions by the family on how to conduct yourself within the family and outside the family home, this is called ukuyala.

Once this process has been conducted, according to tradition, she is to no longer to be referred to by her birth name, but by either her clan name or her new name. The new wife is also instructed that she is to no longer refer to her husband by name especially in front of others; she is to call him bhuti^[1] or Tata ka So-and-so^[2]. 

There is so much more involved in the making of umakoti, however for purposes of this report, when I refer to umakoti unless stated, I am referring to someone who has been married for 15 years or less, as a wife who is married longer is regarded as umfazi.

Xhosa marriage/ ukwenda

As stated by Magubane in his book  (Magubane, 2001), the Xhosa nation may be identified as being a spiritual people, a quality shared amongst many indigenous African cultures. Before the arrival of mission workers the Xhosa people acknowledged and worship God, whom they had denoted to as: “uDali, Mdali, uMenzi, uHlanga, iNkosi yezulu, Qamata, Thixo (Mtshiselwa,2011, p. 278). Xhosa beliefs blended into their everyday life, as they believe that their ancestors played a part in their everyday life as who are believed to be alive in the spirit world and could communicate and control what took place in this present life (Hodgson, 1997) (Magubane, 1998).

Figure 14

This belief system influences every stage of one’s life from conception until ones death when they are believed to be joined to their ancestors. This would thus influence marriage customs^[1], as a marriage in the Xhosa nation would not only signify the union of man and woman, or man and women; but would, however, involve the women being introduced and being received by the husbands’ ancestors. This, like most Xhosa traditional customs, would involve a slaughter of animals as a gift to the ancestors.

The sacrifices offered to ancestors make Xhosa ceremonies to be more than just a custom, but a religious ceremony to be taken seriously as the slaughter of animals to the ancestors is seen as a contract (Bredckamp, 1995).  Within the Xhosa culture there are many possible acceptable roads one may travel in order to attain a wife, some of which are the basis of discussion for this paper. Some of these practices are listed below:

•              Arranged marriages

•              Customary marriages

•              Lobola

•              Polygamy

•              Ukuthwala

In many ways, these marriage customs are a form of slavery or at least hold a close resemblance to slavery when placed under the light. As defined by the Oxford Dictionary:

 “a person who is owned by another person and is forced to work for them, a person who cannot make their own decisions.” (Turnbull, 2010).

Unfortunately this is a very accurate description of many of these young girls and women, as they are unable to escape these marriages nor are they allowed to have a say within their marriages, they are simply forced to endure every form of abusive treatment and play the dutiful wife.

Unlike traditional Xhosa marriages, marriage in Christianity ^[2]does not involve ancestors, but does however unify and consecrate two people before God, through Jesus Christ. (Ephesians) This is of great significance especially to Xhosa practicing Christians^[3] as it will affect their marriage ceremony and the way they enter a marriage covenant.

Xhosa marriage concepts explained

 This report will be discussing at the following Xhosa bridal marriage practices:

1. Labola/ bride price
2.    Ukuthwala-(bridal abduction)
3.   Child marriage

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Ukuthwala-(bridal abduction)

Figure 1 James, A. Bachelors stage a kidnapping.  [ONLINE]

The bridal practice of ukuthwala (bridal abduction), has formed part of many South African native cultural groups, and has still remained as a cultural marriage practice in several places within the Eastern Cape (Froko, S. M. 2016). As the Eastern Cape is predominately a Xhosa populated part of the country, the report will be exploring this practice through the Xhosa culture. There are not many positives when it comes to the practice of bridal kidnapping, therefore this report will instead introduce the historical justification for the practice.

1. Historical bases

It is believed that the practice of ukuthwala in South Africa originated with the Xhosa people (Mwambene & Sloth-nielsen, 2011). Initially the practice came about in cases when either the girl’s family or both families, would be against a marriage or would not come into agreement with labola, and then the couple would stage this abduction, in order to force their  families to allow the marriage to take place.

Although not inherently a form of an abusive abduction, it has mutated into a form of marriage which results in abuse, violence and in many unfortunate cases resulted in rape. Traditionally the practice may be conducted in one of two ways; there are cases where the girl’s family has consented to the marriage and the abduction of their daughter. In this case, the two families have met without consulting the girl in question and have even concluded with the lobola negotiations in most of these cases. Then the two families for whatever the reasons may  be agreed to a specific date on which this abduction would take place (Modisaotsile, 2013).

2. Negatives

In a paper written by Nomusa Mphanga (Maphanga, 2011), one of the drawbacks of the custom of ukuthwala was that men soon abducted the young girls as a result of a spiteful kind of love. The aim was no longer to preserve a custom, nor was it a sign of respect for either the young woman nor their families, it was all about breaking her virginity in order to force the family to permit the marriage.

The sad reality of our society is that a woman is judged more harshly than a man; to the extent that even in cases when she has been violated she is forced to either hide what has taken place or bare the stone of society. Until the recent events which have transpired in our country, it was easy to get away with rape. However now, women have had enough and have learned to voice out their frustration, nonetheless this was not always the case.

When the custom of ukuthwala began to become distorted, it forced the woman, the young girl to not just suffer the pain of rape, but to be sentenced to a life with her rapist all in the name of persevering the dignity he had stripped away from her (Maphanga, 2011; South African Abductions: young girls forced into marriage, n.d.).

The practice of ukuthwala has now become an illegal practice within South Africa and many countries throughout the world. There were cases where the man’s family are in agreement and have not met with either the young girl nor her family and simply decide to ambush her at their earliest convenience, to then inform the girl’s family once they have kidnapped her of what they have done.

 No matter what the circumstance is, when the girl is unaware of this sort of marriage, it may be traumatic for her, as she is taken against her will and then forced to become a wife to someone she may not even know, and at times a man who is 15 to 40 years her senior.

ILobola/ bride price

The practice of paying lobola or dowry is one which is regarded as an integral part of many African marriages; it is, in fact, a practice which is not limited or exclusive to African cultures but is part of other cultures in the world such as the Indian culture and the Jewish people, who refer to it as dowry  (Gullapalli, 2009) (Liebenberg,n.d.).

 

Figure 1 Tina, T. (2018) Three uncles negotiating lobola. [ONLINE] ^[1]

1. Positives

The importance of the payment of the bridal price is seen as an act of respect for the bride and her family; as it is seen as a gesture of gratitude while also displaying his fidelity and commitment to his bride and also displaying good care of her by proving that he values her. Contrary to many false beliefs, the bride price is not a payment of the daughter nor is it the purchase of a bride, it is, however, a gesture which displayed the man would be capable of providing for the bride and that he and his family were people of substance (Magubane, 2001). Also, it was a security bond posted by or on behalf of the bridegroom as a pledge of good treatment; a man was not likely to abandon such a substantial investment, and in most societies, if a divorce resulted because of abuse and ill-treatment, all or most of the lobola was forfeited.

 

Since lobola is a gesture most families do not require the full payment to be made before marriage as it is believed that since no true price can be placed on their priceless daughter. A man can never fully pay lobola but is however responsible to make payments (for a lack of word) to the family for life. These payments come in the form of making sure that the needs and wants of the bride’s family are taken care of when they arise, these thus count as the bottomless lobola price the husband is to pay for the daughter he has taken as a wife (Ngema, 2013).

  i.            Negatives

Although meant to be a gesture of gratitude and a symbol that the daughter will be well taken care of; like many things within society this practice has been abused and the process has been polluted by many people to satisfy their own personal desires and interests. These have been done through the demand of a bridal price which is beyond the means of what the man can afford, or in some cases families may require the man to pay an amount which is too high as the family considers their own personal needs and wants.

In other instances, the process becomes tainted as the daughter becomes a bargaining chip or even an object to be sold to the highest bidder and her family disregards what is in the best interest of their daughter to make money off her marriage. An example of such cases would be the process or the marriage which is the result of ukuthwala (bridal abduction).

Another way the best interest of the bride does not play a key factor is when the family forces her to marry for money or status rather than to marry for love. This type of marriage is then regarded as forced marriage, rather than arranged marriage.

The payment of lobola has been one of the many factors within the African native cultures which has aided in the difficulty of divorce. With a process so flawed and ungoverned by neither law nor many restrictions besides what families decide is just and fair payment, should such a practice be found to be relevant in this contemporary and liberal world we live in? It actually should still be practiced as there are several consequences that are directly linked to the refusal to partake in the practice. One of these being that the couple may not be fully received by both families if they do not choose to adhere or observe important cultural practices. The wife may be ostracized by other family members of the husband’s family and may not be considered a true makoti within the family.

The bridal practice of ukuthwala (bridal abduction), has formed part of many South African native cultural groups, and has still remained as a cultural marriage practice in several places within the Eastern Cape. As the Eastern Cape is predominately a Xhosa populated part of the country, I will be exploring this practice through the Xhosa culture.
Although the practice of bridal abduction is a worldwide issue, it is however believed that the practice of ukuthwala in South Africa originated with the Xhosa people. (Mwambene & Sloth-nielsen, 2011) Initially the practice came about in cases when the either the girl’s family or both families, would be against a marriage or would not come into agreement with labola, and then the couple would stage this abduction, in order to force their  families to allow the marriage to take place.

Although not inherently a form of an abusive abduction, it has mutated into a form of marriage which results in abuse, violence and in many unfortunate cases resulted in rape. Traditionally the practice may be conducted in one of two ways, there are cases where the girl’s family has consented to the marriage and the abduction of their daughter. In this case, the two families have met without consulting the girl in question and have even concluded with the labola negotiations in most of these cases. Then the two families for whatever the reasons may be agree to a specific date on which this abduction would take place. (Modisaotsile, 2013)

While the other painful case, which has become illegal, is where the man’s family are in agreement and have not met with either the young girl nor her family and simply decide to ambush her at their earliest convenience, to then inform the girl’s family once they have kidnapped her of what they have done.

 No matter what the circumstance is, when the girl is unaware of this sort of marriage, it may be traumatic for her, as she is taken against her will and then forced to become a wife to someone she may not even know, and at times a man who is 15 to 40 years her senior

Umakoti/ bride

 I have found that there are rules to be followed and even a specific hierarchy even among the brides within the family, which is determined by many factors one of these being how long one has been married; thus giving umakoti that has been married longer superiority over a recently married umakoti., this is regardless of the wife’s age.

As part of being umakoti, you are in some ways treated as a new born, in the sense that when you become a new member of the family and are welcomed into the family, you are given a new name and brand new clothes. As you are no longer a girl but a wife, you are then given instructions by the family on how to conduct yourself within the family and depending how strict the family is, you are given instructions on how to conduct yourself outside the family, this is called ukuyala. 

Once this process has been conducted, according to tradition, you are to no longer to be referred to as your birth name, but you may however be called your clan name, and the new wife is to no longer refer to her husband by name especially in front of others, she is to call him bhuti or Tata ka so-and-so (so and so father, the name of the their first born child).  He on the other hand may call you by name; however the name his family has given you. There is so much more involved in the making of umakoti, however for purposes of this report, when I refer to umakoti unless stated, I am referring to someone who has been married for 15 years or less, as a wife who is married longer is regarded as umfazi. 

Xhosa keepers

Figure Xhosa woman wearing a Keeper. (ONLINE) Figure 1  Xhosa woman wearing a Keeper. (ONLINE)[1]

Figure 2 Xhosa woman wearing a Keeper. (ONLINE)

The woman in the picture above is wearing a Xhosa traditional Keeper which depicts the stage she is now in as a Xhosa wife. The triangles symbolize an older married woman, and the fact that the woman in the Keep has no legs is an indication that the woman wearing the keeper feels that she is worn out at this stage in her life and she, therefore, will not have any use for her legs. 

Narrative Jewellery

One of the most prominent jewellers when it comes to contemporary narrative jewellery is Professor Jack Cunningham. In addition to being a contemporary studio jeweller, he is a curator and an academic, who has made a huge contribution to the field. The picture below is part of a series by Cunningham entitled: “The Great Barrier” (Commentaire, 2013). 

Figure 1 –Withycombe, D. (2010)The Great Barrier Brooch. [ONLINE}[1]

In order to depict his personal narrative, Cunningham, has chosen to use found objects. This work has been used to illustrate what narrative jewellery is, as is has been manufactured using found objects and has relied on its title to help indicate its narrative to its viewer.

According to Cunningham narrative jewellery may be described as:

 “…small objects that have the potential to speak of large issues make bold statements and question accepted values.”

When observing his piece alongside his definition, a connection may be established. Hence this report has accepted this definition as it will be using jewellery a means to address bridal umakoti issues which are prevalent within the Xhosa lives of many young girls and women.

Within the category of narrative jewellery, this report will be looking at the following types of narrative works:

                                   a.            Narrative jewellery
                         b.       Xhosa Beadwork as a narrative   

           

                                            

Ikhomo-ilobola

One good thing about the day was my second attempt at the rhino cow.I still need to make a few adjustments before I can getting to cast, but this is a huge improvement from the one that I had made last year. The first picture is the cow's front view, am not sure if I am too happy about it and I might need to tweak it abit, reason being that when worn it will be the first thing a person sees and I need for it to be visibly accurate as I can get.

Cow front view 

The second picture is the cow and the frame, judging from the printing, I must have  made some mistakes because the frame was meant to be connected to the cow, so I will need to work on that and consider how I can make the proportions work for the cow.

Cow and frame

I am happy with my side view, there isn't much that I would like to fix with it.

Cow side view 

Close up view

Rose by any other name

My next design concept was yet another poem which I was busy writing about a wife. The general idea around the poem is that like a rose would always remain a rose even if it were to have another name, a slave would also remain just that even if you have chosen to instead call her umakoti/ wife. This is my way of conversing on the sometimes abusive and destructive practices young wives are forced to suffer all in the guise of it being a right of passage or part of the native African cultures.

Figure 2: Ndongeni, S (2016). Rose set.

As I began to both writing the poem and designing of the piece of rose chain, I became to remember that in 2016 I had had a similar concept in mind. At the time I had not decided to go the narrative route but to use roses as they are one of the flowers widely associated with love and weddings, I had in fact entitled one of my blogposts with the title: ‘a rose by any other name’. This had been an intentional play on words for both my poem and my item of jewellery as that is a title of a title of a poem based on a lie said by none other than Juliet from the famous story “Romeo and Juliet.  She was trying to give forth the idea that just because the man she happened to have love was the son from a family who was in fact the enemy of her own family, would not suddenly make her love for him change. Which is what I want to convey with my use of the line, however not as the title of the poem. The picture in figure 2 is one of the designs which had included a rose or was rose inspired which I had designed in 2016, which is a pair of earrings and a pendant.

Figure 1: Ndongeni, S (2016). Rose by Another Name Series. Silver chain with roses.

I therefore decided to make a rose chain as seen in figure 2, which I was trying to use as a mouthpiece to converse the idea that even though one may take a rose and place it on a silver chain, the chain still was a chain which enslaved the wife. I had looked at several slave chain and found that they were mostly oval and this was the chain shape I had chosen to make. I had decided to solder the small roses onto the actual chain.  I still have yet to finish off the chain, because I am sill undecided as to how to finish off the piece. However I want it to have a slave chain look and feel to it.   Nonetheless I want the overall theme to display the idea that as much as it may look attract to the eye, it doesn’t change the fact that causes harm nor the fact that it there to enslave her.

Figure 3: Rose by another name series, brass and crystal beaded bridal piece.

The third development of the series was the piece seen in figure 3, where I expanded on the slavery idea by making brass neck and arm cuffs. I tried to add a bridal element to the piece by using the clear crystal beads instead if chains.