Christian marriage customs

With the introduction of Christianity into the lives of the Xhosa people came the confusion as to what would be regarded as an authentic marriage union; as Christianity came with its preexistent marriage customs that were different from those practiced within the Xhosa culture. The section below will hence discuss the Christian marriage customs that affect or influence the Xhosa Christian marriage.

1. 1. Positives
   
   
   One of the prerequisites by the church for those who intend on having a Christian church wedding is the couple is obligated to undergo premarital counseling. This is usually a series of sessions with the couple and is usually conducted by the pastor and/or his wife. The main purpose behind these sessions is to assess the couple’s compatibility, to prepare them for marriage, while also establishing what the couple has in mind for their wedding day, thus helping design a personalized marriage ceremony (Church, 2002; Debbie Budlender, 2002; Marshall, 1969).
   2. Negatives

The procedures found within Christianity may at times prove to be a challenge for the professing Xhosa Christians [1]as they would be required to perform a church wedding executed by a priest, as some churches do not approve of customary and civil marriages (Church, 2002). Some churches believed that for a Christian marriage to be regarded as legit in the eyes of God, it had to be conducted within a church, as it is sacred and God’s dwelling place (Bredckamp, 1995). 

Although biblically incorrect, these manmade Christian doctrines and church laws do however influence the mindsets of the Christian community and by default those who get married through this system. Studies show that 53% of the church communities irrespective of their church attendance regard church weddings as more “proper” (Goodacre, 2007). This would, therefore, be a decisive factor for any Christian especially those who esteem their Christian faith to a high degree, as it would be their symbol of submitting to their God, even if they are not required to (Marshall, 1969, p. 23; McCarthy, 2002).

Taking the above into account, the Xhosa Christian Xhosa couple would then find themselves having to conduct two marriage ceremonies, once which is according to the Christian faith and another which is according to their tradition, as neither the Xhosa tradition requires for their union to be confirmed in the eyes of the ancestors with according with their customs. This then proves to be a problem if only the wife is the Christian as she is then forced to compromise her faith to accommodate her in-laws.