The practice of paying lobola or dowry is one which is regarded as an
integral part of many African marriages; it is, in fact, a practice which is not
limited or exclusive to African cultures but is part of other cultures in
the world such as the Indian culture and the Jewish people, who refer to it as
dowry (Gullapalli, 2009) (Liebenberg,n.d.).
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The importance of the payment of the bridal price
is seen as an act of respect for the bride and her family; as it is seen as a
gesture of gratitude while also displaying his fidelity and commitment to his
bride and also displaying good care of her by proving that he values her.
Contrary to many false beliefs, the bride price is not a payment of the
daughter nor is it the purchase of a bride, it is, however, a gesture which
displayed the man would be capable of providing for the bride and that he and
his family were people of substance (Magubane, 2001) . Also, it was a
security bond posted by or on behalf of the bridegroom as a pledge of good
treatment; a man was not likely to abandon such a substantial investment, and
in most societies, if a divorce resulted because of abuse and ill-treatment, all
or most of the lobola was forfeited.
Since lobola is a gesture most families do not
require the full payment to be made before marriage as it is believed that
since no true price can be placed on their priceless daughter. A man can never
fully pay lobola but is however responsible to make payments (for a lack of
word) to the family for life. These payments come in the form of making sure
that the needs and wants of the bride’s family are taken care of when they
arise, these thus count as the bottomless lobola price the husband is to pay
for the daughter he has taken as a wife (Ngema, 2013) .
Although meant to be a gesture of gratitude and a
symbol that the daughter will be well taken care of; like many things within
society this practice has been abused and the process has been polluted by many
people to satisfy their own personal desires and interests. These have been
done through the demand of a bridal price which is beyond the means of what the
man can afford, or in some cases families may require the man to pay an amount
which is too high as the family considers their own personal needs and wants.
In other instances, the process becomes tainted as
the daughter becomes a bargaining chip or even an object to be sold to the
highest bidder and her family disregards what is in the best interest of their
daughter to make money off her marriage. An example of such cases would be the
process or the marriage which is the result of ukuthwala (bridal abduction).
Another way the best interest of the bride does
not play a key factor is when the family forces her to marry for money or
status rather than to marry for love. This type of marriage is then regarded as
forced marriage, rather than arranged marriage.
The payment of lobola has been one of the many
factors within the African native cultures which has aided in the difficulty of
divorce. With a process so flawed and ungoverned by neither law nor many
restrictions besides what families decide is just and fair payment, should such
a practice be found to be relevant in this contemporary and liberal world we
live in? It actually should still be practiced as there are several
consequences that are directly linked to the refusal to partake in the
practice. One of these being that the couple may not be fully received by both
families if they do not choose to adhere or observe important cultural
practices. The wife may be ostracized by other family members of the husband’s
family and may not be considered a true makoti within the family.
