Xhosa Marriage/ ukwenda

The Xhosa people are known to be very spiritual people, a quality shared amongst many native African cultures. (Magubane, African Heritage: dress and adornment, 2001)Before the arrival of mission workers the Xhosa people acknowledged and worship God, whom they had referred to as: “uDali, Mdali, uMenzi, uHlanga, iNkosi yezulu, Qamata, Thixo. (Mtshiselwa, 2011, p. 278)
Many Xhosa beliefs blended into their everyday life, as they believed that their ancestors played a part in their everyday life. The reason being that the Xhoss people believed that their ancestors were alive in the spirit world, that they could communicate and control what took place in this present life. (Hodgson, 1997, pp. 68-88) (Magubane, 1998)

This belief system influences every stage of one’s life from conception until ones death when they are believed to be joined to their ancestors. This would thus influence marriage customs , as a marriage in the Xhosa nation would not only signify the union of man and woman, or man and women; but would however involve the women being introduced and being received by the husbands’ ancestors. This, like most Xhosa traditional customs, would involve a slaughter of animals as a gift to the ancestors. Thus making Xhosa ceremonies to be more than just a custom, but would also be considered a religious ceremony to be taken seriously as the slaughter of animals to the ancestors is seen as a contract. (Bredckamp, 1995) Within the Xhosa culture there are many possible acceptable roads one may travel in order to attain a wife, some of which are the basis of discussion for this paper. Some of these practices include ukuthwala, known as bridal abduction, forced marriages and early child marriages.
Within the Xhosa culture, marriages occur through the channels listed below:
• Arranged marriages
• Customary marriages
• Lobola
• Polygamy
• Ukuthwala

In many way these marriage customs are a form of slavery or at least hold a close resemblance to slavery when placed under the light. As defined by the oxford Dictionary:

 “a person who is owned by another person and is forced to work for them, a person who cannot make their own decisions.” (Turnbull, 2010)

Unfortunately this is a very accurate description of many of these young girls and women, as they are unable to escape these marriages nor are they allowed to have a say within their marriages, they are simply forced to endure every form of abusive treatment and play the dutiful wife.
Unlike traditional Xhosa marriages, marriage in Christianity does not involve ancestors, but does however unify and consecrate two people before God, through Jesus Christ. (Ephesians) This is of great significance especially to Xhosa practicing Christians as it will affect their marriage ceremony and the way they enter a marriage covenant.