Many
times men who tend to lord the verses of submission over their wives tend to
disregard the verses in Ephesians 5: 25-29.
- Positives
This scripture
is a clear depiction of how the true Christian husband ought to behave towards
his wife. If one is a true scholar of the word, he would never practice any
form of abuse or inhuman form of dominance over his wife. Yeshua, had stated in
various passages of the Bible that He came to serve the church rather than to
be served by the church, even going as far as to wash the very feet of His
disciples and then instructing them to behave in a like manner to those who
would be under them (John 13). Through this act, He depicted a servanthood form
of headship which is at times contrary to the leadership styles adopted by many
men, especially Xhosa Christian husbands.
According to
scripture, the biblical husband ought to focus on the desires and needs of his
wife above that of his own; therefore although she ought to submit to him, she
would be submitting to a man who seeks[1]
her happiness above his own.
This form of
biblical headship [2]therefore
goes beyond the selfish interpretation of men as dictators of the home, but
speaks of a responsibility on the husband which thus would require the
submission of the wife. It therefore displays how God has not simply placed
women in a vulnerable passion by placing the man as the head of his household,
but has however placed him as a head above her for her edification and so as to
create order within the household, when applied in the manner it was designed
in.
- Negatives
As explained above, the concept of headship is not meant as
a form of suppression; however due to the influence of Christianity on the
Xhosa culture and within the Christian community, many unconverted men have
used the concept as a means of control their wives (Cox, 2018) .
[1] Pastor
Mike Bickle of “iHop Ministries” describes the way a Christian husband ought to
see marriage as a lifelong stewardship in which he becomes God’s spokesman to
his wife. Furthermore, he advises young man to understand that the marriage
covenant is in no way related to how their emotions are towards their wives,
meaning that they are not faithful to her because she is faithful, but behave
towards her because it is their personal ministry to God.
[2] The
husband would therefore be responsible for any failings within the marriage as
the head, including the disrespect displayed by a hurt wife. This also goes to
the issue of loving the wife, which a man is commanded to do along with
honoring her, nurturing both her emotional and spiritual growth (Base, The
Incredible Worth of a Woman, 2012).
